How Patty Got Her Groove Back
by Mikel
Summary: Patty/Buddy and Lala/Red talk about taking their relationships to the next level and saving the world. BEWARE alot of sex talk.


HOW PATTY GOT HER GROOVE BACK  
Patty O Green and Buddy Blue had been dating for three years. Patty loved Buddy and knew she would spend the rest of her entire life with him, but she still didn't feel comfortable loosing her virginity to him. It wasn't that she didn't want to have sex, it was that she had somewhat of a premonition. For some reason or another, Patty felt as though if she slept with Buddy, something horrible would happen. She didn't know what or why, but no matter what she did, the feeling could not be ignored.   
Soon Patty's premonition began to become a major problem. Whenever Buddy and Patty would cuddle or kiss, Patty would freak out and make a point to tell Buddy that she would not sleep with him. This infuriated Buddy, not because she didn't want to have sex with him, but because he got the feeling that Patty thought that the only thing Buddy was ever thinking about was sex. This not only made Buddy angry, but while he wouldn't admit it, it also hurt him.   
"I don't get it. I've never even talked about sex with Patty, hell, I don't even think I've ever thought about sex." Buddy confided in his good friend, Red Butler.   
"Oh come on, Buddy, yeah right, you have too thought about sex before. Who hasn't?" Red Butler said slapping Buddy on the shoulder and laughing.   
"I haven't! I honestly never think about that kind of stuff, besides, I'm only 14." Buddy said thinking he had proven his point.   
"Buddy, we hit puberty two years ago, I don't know about you, but all I EVER think about is sex." Red said laughing.  
"Have you ever talked to Lala about it?"   
"Of course. She's great about that kind of stuff, unlike Patty O Prude, she understands that I'm a growing boy and that I have my needs." Red said laughing.   
"No, she probably understands you're a growing idiot and doesn't want to tell you what a pervert you are. And don't call Patty that, okay?" Buddy said in serious tone.   
"Whatever, dude, just take my advice, okay? You need to tell Patty that she's pissing you off. Then you need to tell her that she needs to be ready to satisfy your needs if this relationship is going to work out."   
"No, see I don't need sex, I don't even want sex. That is why I just do not understand why she's acting like this." Buddy said in a desperate tone.   
"Woman. Can't understand them can't……."  
"Can't believe your actually saying that phrase." Buddy said.   
"Look, women are a tricky crowd to please. But with practice, and some expensive white wine, they can be put into a good mood." Red said giggling at his own joke.   
Lala quickly turned the corner and spotted Buddy and Red chatting. Lala gave Buddy a hug and Red a kiss and then struck up a conversation.   
"Buddy, you love Patty, right?" Lala said in a tone filled with completely false emotions.   
"Yes, of course. I love her with all my heart." Buddy said.  
"Yes, than why don't you get the balls to just fuck her." Lala said in her every day, sweet as pie tone.   
"Because she might not……..what did you just say?"Buddy was absolutely shocked.   
"I said why don't you just fuck the bitch?" Lala said, sweet as pie tone still intact.   
"Lala, how could you say those kind of words? That's horrible, things like that don't belong in a Rainbow Land." Buddy said horrified.  
"Buddy, I didn't want to tell you, but if you ask me, Patty's problem is easy to figure out. It's simple, she has too many repressed sexual emotions and never satisfied them. I know that sexual emotions aren't real people but since you've never "pleased" Patty, she hates sex because her sex emotions are pissed." Red said in an asinine tone of voice.  
"Really, Buddy, you need to find her and help her write the book How Patty Got Her Grove Back, and quick, or she might be getting on the other boat." Lala said, still relaxed and extra sugary.  
"You guys really think that Patty's problem is that she needs to get laid?" Buddy said shocked.  
"She doesn't need to get laid, she needs to get the big "O." Red said giggling."And sex is a great way to give her the gift of a great orgasm."  
"But that isn't the only way, Buddy." Lala said, taking Buddy by the arm and beginning to walk with him towards Patty's house. "I think Shy Violet has a great book with illustrations that I could hook you up with."   
"But what if Patty jumps on the other boat while you're getting me the book?" Buddy said worrying.   
"You're right," Lala said realizing the error in her plans. "Red, you subscribe to Playboy, they always have articles about the different ways to please a women. Tell Buddy one of the, quote/unquote techniques."  
"Lala, I don't subscribe to Playboy." Red said turning bright red.   
"Oh yes you do, last week, me and OJ got Romeo drunk and he showed us your hidden stash. Nice collection. Now tell him some techniques!" Lala said angrily.   
"Lala, I lied when I said I read Playboy for the articles, now stop embarrassing me." Red said ashamed.   
"Ewww, disgusting thought. Buddy you must go save Patty from torrid lesbianism! Not that I'm saying that's a bad thing, in fact, if you do go that route, Indigo gives great back rubs and she told me she was looking for a lover last week." Lala said shouting after Buddy as he ran toward Patty's house.  
"What if he doesn't get there in time?" Red said watching Buddy running off into the sunset.   
"Let's just pray he does, for our sake." Lala said, finally being able to admit that she knew something Buddy nor Patty knew.   
Lala and Red hadn't struck up the conversation with Buddy just out of the blue. Their side road chat was planned out and the last chance of saving the world from total destruction.   
Will Buddy bed Patty? Will Lala admit her and Red's secret? Will the world be saved from total destruction? Find out next time on: WHEN PATTY GOT HER GROOVE BACK!   



End file.
